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07 April 2010 @ 03:44 am
Huling Hirit  
So I went to school yesterday to try and fix shit but found out I was more screwed up than I thought I was LOL OPTIMISM, I KNEW BEING PARANOID IS SO MUCH BETTER. Unhealthier, but better!

1. I request for late enrollment because I won't be here during the regular schedule but it turns out they don't give that so I had to talk to shit (translation: several people) to fix it.

K.Pabs suggested I write an authorization letter to let someone enroll for me instead. That seems the easiest and best plan but it's not so easy (although it's still the best?) because I'm leaving before I can meet with whoever I will burden with this shit.

Found several ways to fix it though so, never mind. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A WAAAAY. Also, I decided not to take summer classes anymore. It's too much hassle and so many signs keep telling me to stay away. I think I'll end up failing that class anyway like I inevitably will Bird Watching. Sometimes, will is not just enough. I found that the hard way :<


2. Turns out, I completely forgot to finish the last part of the Add Mat process of my Hapon 10-11 last first semester. This is why I still have no grade until now. Also, since I misplaced the other half (that goes to the registrar as proof of my existence in that class), I have to repeat the process all over again. FUCK WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME LMAO. At least I still have the Student's copy (which I'd gladly trade for the Registrar's copy so fast it won't even be funny) of this form so I have the reference number of my tuition fee receipt (which I also can't find, I'm thinking mom gave it to that education plan shit that went bankrupt--she's still hoping to get shit from it orz) so that means I don't have to pay the scandalous amount all over again.

The process will be a hassle but not really difficult so yay?


3. Finally got to contact my 141 professor regarding this final project I should've submitted last 'Good' Friday. Good news is, he's as awesome as ever and doesn't mind the tardiness. Bad news is, I have until the end of today to submit it via email. Actually, I'm thinking, "No big deal. I can cram shit. All I need is an internet connection so I can pass it on time." And while that optimism/denial/shit helps somehow, it also doesn't.

I'm going to Japan in less than five hours and I still haven't started compiling shit. I have material but I don't have time. There's no way in hell I'm sacrificing the short time I will be in the first foreign country I fell in love with to work on a project I know I can manage even if I don't. No. I'm doing this in the airport and on the plane and on the train and on any other form of transportation so I can maximize my time. Whenever we're resting somewhere or idle or eating a meal, I will work on this shit. I'm estimating we'll end the day around 8pm latest because my family's lazy like that so I'll have around 4 hours to myself. I'm expecting I won't finish exactly on time but I think I won't mind as much because I tried my fucking best so even though I get a crappy grade for submitting late, it won't matter in the end. I think~ /o/

FUCK THIS OPTIMISM /kicks self


4. Several other minor shit dependent on my paranoia. But they don't matter that much and it does, you'll surely hear about it later. I will elaborate on more shit that occured on the worst day of my life (yesterday) since the last worst day of my life (who-knows-when) after I come back from Japan~


NON-SCHOOL RELATED SHIT THAT AFFECTS ME SO MUCH MORE

1. My mother. Fuck this routine is becoming too much for me to handle. Talk about unnecessary emotional baggage and epic stress. Since my asthma is related to my hormones, I palpitate and shake whenever I get too emotional. So given my commonly known paranoia, I actually believe this will be the death of me someday. I have become too cynical on the matter, I don't even--ffff, broke down randomly to buddy when I met with him earlier. I want to keep trying but I'm honestly so, so, so fucking tired of this fucking shit. No need to worry though, I don't believe I'll actually die because of this but that doesn't mean I don't worry.


2. You-who-I-will-not-mention because I don't want to ruin our friendship over my insecurities. But I really wish you'd be more sensitive to my concerns. I know you're trying but I still can't help the way I feel. Like my mother, you have the capacity to automatically bring me down with something so shallow and probably just all in my head.

ps, This person is most likely not who you think it is.


Lol on a random thought, I wanted to die for a moment. Like suddenly, I'm dead but after four or so days I ressurect. Kinda retarded but I AM STILL COHERENT, WAIT FOR IT, DON'T JUDGE ME, ETC but it's only because don't want to die yet but I want to completely escape my academic obligations just for this barely-one-week that I am in Japan. (Really, I haven't gone crazy or anything. This is me coping with epic stress~)

AND I'M FINALLY EXCITED AGAIN. That short Kyoto fagging session with Buddy earlier reminded me of why Japan is a big deal for me. Thank you so much Buddy, I think I really needed that! ♥

Would you believe I srsly considered staying behind for all this shit? Was also so stressed the past weeks, I didn't even have time to take a moment and bask in the glorious knowledge I'll be coming back to Japan. (I was thinking that the silver lining would be besides that I won't be as stressed with acadshit, I will be able to attend Rated G! /o/ I KNOW THAT DOESN'T COMPARE TO JAPAN BUT I WAS COMFORTING MYSELF OKAAAAY.) But until I'm all settled at the boarding gate, I will deny my acadmic existence. I WILL ENJOY YOU, JAPAN! /o/


SO. Things to look forward to from this moment on:

1. 141 Project, 125 Make-up, etc (because I think I'll actually enjoy doing those)

2. JAPAAAAN!

3. Haircuuuut as soon as I get back! Yes, I finally found a way to convince father dearest that I deserve to have some control over what grows on my head. Will elaborate later when it's not another story. Have a few ideas already on what I'll get but suggestions are still welcome~

4. Hopefully coming home to see that my preorders have arrived~

5. Joining IDS! after I get back from Japan! THANK YOU FOR EXTENDING THE MEMBERSHIP DEADLINE, IT'D BRING TEARS OF JOY TO MY EYES IF I HADN'T CRIED MY EYES OUT DRY ALREADY. SO SRSLY, TYSFM!

6. Anvaya with the Coooows! Jil, I assume you will be the only one awesome enough to use Eljay and thus see my update so please coordinate with the others on the details? Surely good on the 17th and that weekend if we're stayng for more than one day. Will pm you for more details~

7. THE GRAND RE REUNION!! Also known as What Kept All of Us Going and Sane During the Last Academic Year. IT LOOKS PROMISING. So far, waifu is the only one who hasn't confirmed but I will beg her parents personally just to make it possible. I'll probably do the same for naf, just need a way to make it happen without them both getting in trouble for our persistence. THIS WILL PUSH THROUGH OVER MY DEAD BODY.

8. Many, many more but apparently I need to go leave for the airport now. Text me for anything! Like omiyage requests or just random spam so I won't miss you too much. Turned roaming on so it won't cost you more. I might not reply unless I srsly have to because lol, Ich bin cheap.


BYE!

Mood: cynical
 
 
 
Shiney: wewtoml_trickster_l on April 7th, 2010 06:31 am (UTC)
ISHTL

Have fun!
(tried calling you when you sent the last message but I think you turned your phone off oder sth)

I BELIEVE JAPAN HAS BETTER INTERNET THAN THAT SHIP.
Lira: hyperseikochan on April 7th, 2010 10:22 am (UTC)
IDGAF what you get me, even get me nothing at all, so long as you enjoy the hell out of yourself there. Have a lovely time, darling, and happiness to you! HAPPINESS!
sm16sm16 on April 8th, 2010 08:10 am (UTC)
*huuuuuuuugs* hope you're having the time of your life there right now! (You're there the time i'm writing this ^^;) just bask in japan's cultural glory okay! You'll be refreshed and ready to fight head on when you come back! *glomp*

and you'll have us :)