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10 February 2010 @ 12:16 am
And when I lose myself, I think of you  
So I accidentally deleted a bulk of important shit while I was semi-groggy when I woke up about three hours ago. And this is bothering me because this isn't like the last time where I regret losing only one shit. This one's months and months worth of shit. And I know I still have my memories to count on but that's the thing, I don't trust my capability to remember or decipher which ones are real or not so this really, really sucks. At least I did not shed sissy tears for this, but that's probably only because the process just sort left me numb. And feeling stupid. But at least I now know how to avoid this mistake in the future. Damn, why do I have to be so optimistic sometimes?

I think I am being punished for hearing a complete mass only once since the year started. And lol, I even missed the first blessing/the start/whatever during that time, even when I arrived like only 2 minutes late. (Why are these Europeans strictly on time? I was so proud I made it even before the First Reading but the priest kept giving me a disapproving look anyway ffff. THAT WAS THE EARLIEST I'VE BEEN TO MASS IN YEARS, give me some credit here ;o;) Oh, and the mass was in Italian so I understood shit during the homily too. And it wasn't even a Sunday.

Gasp! What would the nuns--or better yet, what would Sister Agana say?

I am not talking about my academic life. Despite what my previous posts can mislead you to think, I have a life outside school! /o/ Also, I am not emo. Just being [mood] lol. The only reason I'm making an entry about this post is so I won't forget when this happened. Let's not talk about the first paragraph, okay? I'm so hormonal recently, I break down when people show the slightest bit of concern.

I'd put that under an lj-cut but it looks really nice seeing how the text is proportional to the icon's height. (Well, in my non-widescreen monitor anyway.) And this might not strike you as amazing but it does to me, because I didn't even edit that just to please my inner dork~ Oh, I'm rambling again.

Either way, I don't want to talk about that shit. Also, just because I call shit, 'shit' doesn't mean it's sth worth talking about. Oh, and rl!friends would've noticed by now, but I call shit I can't properly label, 'shit' just because it's easier that way. Yay convenience~ Oh lol rambling again.

The only reason I'm not disabling comments in this post is for people who'd like to discuss [tag] because I'm randomly but quite srsly thinking about my Catholicism or whatnot. Am I still just practicing my religion simply because I treat it like a superstition? I can be very superstitious, idk.

Idk, whatever man. Maybe Im just procrastinating again by thinking about this. I should go back to work lol.

The world is not beautiful, therefore it is. Don't you agree? Whoa Kino, why so sensible?


ps, Oh and I switched my moodtheme for the nth time this week. I miss my Nena~

Mood: contemplative
Music: Monsoon - Tokio Hotel
 
 
 
l_trickster_l on February 9th, 2010 02:05 pm (UTC)
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Bakang Batugan: Blissfulkyoy on February 9th, 2010 02:24 pm (UTC)
Bakang Batugan: Youngkyoy on February 9th, 2010 02:45 pm (UTC)
I HOPE YOU'RE ASLEEP BY NOW SO YOU DON'T RANDOMLY GET UP JUST BECAUSE YOU GET A NOTIFICATION
Vielen dank für alles!

/grateful
Shiney: tomsmilesl_trickster_l on February 10th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
Re: I HOPE YOU'RE ASLEEP BY NOW SO YOU DON'T RANDOMLY GET UP JUST BECAUSE YOU GET A NOTIFICATION
I don't think I was, but I must have been staring at the ceiling or sth. Sounds like you're feeling better! \o/
Bakang Batugan: Captivatedkyoy on February 10th, 2010 04:20 am (UTC)
Re: I HOPE YOU'RE ASLEEP BY NOW SO YOU DON'T RANDOMLY GET UP JUST BECAUSE YOU GET A NOTIFICATION
Why semi-always so insomniac? ;o;

/worried
Shiney: tomsmilesl_trickster_l on February 10th, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
Re: I HOPE YOU'RE ASLEEP BY NOW SO YOU DON'T RANDOMLY GET UP JUST BECAUSE YOU GET A NOTIFICATION
Because..

YOU'RE THE SUN AND I'M THE MOON~

Trust me, it gets worse in the summer, lying awake all night until the sun rises ;o;

I need a new twinlove icon
Bakang Batugan: Nervouskyoy on February 10th, 2010 05:13 am (UTC)
Re: I HOPE YOU'RE ASLEEP BY NOW SO YOU DON'T RANDOMLY GET UP JUST BECAUSE YOU GET A NOTIFICATION
Aw ffff--Tomi. Even when you're epicepic tired? ;o;

I'd offer staying up with you (since I'm still awake anyway, lalalala~) but fagging just might keep you up altogether orz.

HOW ABOUT ONE FROM MALDIVES? *O*
see-saw margery daw: friendship is a beautiful thingmargerydaw_s2 on February 9th, 2010 02:05 pm (UTC)
I always try to stay away from organized religion.
Bakang Batugan: Hopefulkyoy on February 9th, 2010 02:21 pm (UTC)
I've noticed quite a lot of my friends do, ol or irl~ (Does this say anything about me? XD)

But I'm a Catholic and not ashamed of it--although I still have my doubts. I question certain beliefs but I think I generally believe anyway. I think....? Idk lol. I'm very open to the possibility of anything though. But I hate it when people go on saying their religion is the one and only, the fucking best there is, etcetera, etcetera. They're all the same labeled with different names, imo. Or maybe that's just me.

You (should!) already know this by now but, ilu ♥ /random
see-saw margery dawmargerydaw_s2 on February 9th, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, you SHOULD NOT be ashamed, dear : ) I think the thing we should all remember is to love each other.

ILU2. &hearts
Bakang Batugan: Pleasedkyoy on February 9th, 2010 02:50 pm (UTC)
Well said! ♥

I just noticed how some people are, like they 'practice' it but they do it it discreetly, as if hoping no one would notice they pray before meals, etcetera.

Just think that's idk, kinda sad.
(Anonymous) on February 9th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC)
I say if you're not causing harm to others, you should be proud.
Bakang Batugan: Accomplishedkyoy on February 9th, 2010 03:37 pm (UTC)
/o/
We're only several miles from the sunanimegoil on February 10th, 2010 12:26 am (UTC)
you're catholic? lol, i didn't know that! I am too :)
Bakang Batugan: Awesomekyoy on February 10th, 2010 04:16 am (UTC)
Same name, religion and love, FATE! /retarded

I didn't know that too~ :)

WONDERS NEVER CEASE!
We're only several miles from the sunanimegoil on February 13th, 2010 10:29 pm (UTC)
OMG, we are two peas in a pod! I didn't realize that at all <3
Lira: reflectiveseikochan on February 10th, 2010 08:46 am (UTC)
Oh, darling! No system restore point? I know you can still retrieve that data - there's software you can download for it, but I'm not sure exactly what. Try dia_aren_marie, I remember she needed to recover her data before, too. Or our ComSci friends lololol.

I'm pretty much Roman Catholic because I was born and raised in the faith. I grew to love the parts I agree with, but I won't deny that there are parts I disagree with. Nevertheless, the good outweighs the bad for me, which is probably why I stick to Catholicism. Anyway, I don't think God would punish you for not hearing a complete mass. At least you make the effort to go, and there are non-practicing Catholics out there. Plus there are people who go to mass and just kind of stare into space and simply stand and sit and sing when needed, so it's probably not that.

I suppose it's up to you to decide, dear? Take the time to explore what you feel. It's not a decision that needs to be made quickly - some people devote their entire lives to it, so feel free to take it at your own pace. If ever you need us, we're just here. ♥
Bakang Batugan: Contemplativekyoy on February 10th, 2010 09:00 am (UTC)
Um, it's a bit more complicated (or different?) than that, actually. It's kinda like, deleting stuff from the recycle bin, no going back, shit, shit. So I'm not so sure about recovery. But lmao why did I not think of that possibility? I guess I just didn't want to dwell on it enough to let me affect me. Maybe I'll try googling later~ Danke, Bosschan! <3

We're actually similar lol. It's like some sort of lifetime conversion ahaha. But I agree, more good than bad, imo. Well even if some of the religious leaders are (excuse my language) fucked up, it's still up to the person to decide what to do with her(lol feminism!) life. So really, I think you only have yourself to blame if sth goes wrong because you believed sth/someone. Even if you were influenced, it was still your choice to follow, etcetera etcetera~ Or, idk.

Thanks again dear~♥ Actually wasn’t thinking about switching or anything, just some random philosophical shit I was wondering about. Because idk, I wonder about a lot of fine lines. And I’m just curious, I guess? /random

♥♥♥♥
drksm: fandomsacla on February 16th, 2010 01:49 pm (UTC)
[edit] yes I am a dork for answering to seriously but I can't help it because I am an opinionated..
...dork

Your 'shit' is the equivalent of my (and others?) 'churva'. lol hahaha

Sister Agana would say... There's a time for everything? loool

But seriously, maybe it's become more of a habit after years of being shaped by the school and culture into the expected Catholic. (comes from personal contemplation) I believe in (Catholic) God but doubt the church so much its not even funny but because of my belief in Him the rest follows and seems like just a force of habit that I may not really entirely believe in but do for the sake of Him. To his/her own forms of belief I guess and really it was inevitable for people to form their own ways and reason to worship/follow given the unique-and-wacked-up personal opinion people have.

the superstition theory sounds promising too. In our anthro class our prof brought up the question "What makes superstition different from religion?" and we couldn't come up with a substantial enough answer.

In your case we wouldn't know until we talked about this further though and I LOVE love talks about shit involving people's personal views and opinion on certain shit. So PM/lj/sumting me sometime if you still feel like talking about this! ehehehe dorkiness prevails

Oh haffuu, I'm sorry about your lost messages. Think of it this way, if its special enough, you'd remember it at least because it means its something worth remembering that even your brain saved it in. Trust yourself more, and your brain will do wonders even if you think otherwise :) Do not underestimate the power of your mind. Maybe you just need to look in a different angle. /dork again

Kino is the greatest. Who's nena?
Bakang Batugan: Inquisitivekyoy on March 13th, 2010 06:49 pm (UTC)
Aww I really love this reply! Not commenting on the philosophical shit because I am kinda sabaw atm (lol so conyo desu ne) and don't really have coherent input to share lol.

Lol sth similar happened yesterday actually and because I am optimistic like that, it kinda justified this first time's shit so idk? Pm me and I'll tell you about it~

Nena is what I call Maaya because Nena is Bill's Maaya. Lol did I make sense?