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11 May 2012 @ 08:13 am
If the truth is you're a liar (when you say that you're okay)  
I've been feeling pretty low lately and I really hate it because I don't have the right to. I should be happy. I wish I was, but I'm not. I really, really hate myself for this. I'm a horrible human being.

I drove to Fgy's last Tuesday at 8am because I woke up 4 hours earlier and couldn't stop crying since then. I've been crying everyday the past two weeks that I sometimes wonder when it will stop. Thank you so much to everyone I've been shamelessly coming to for comfort. Special mention to Donna! I am so grateful for you, thank you so much!

So lucky to have the people around me, thank you so much for cheering me up the past few days! The little things honestly mean a lot! I hope you know how much I love you. Please let me know if my crying to you, etc. is being too much of a bother. That's the last thing I want to do, burden any more people! I won't love you any less ♥

On a happier note, updates!
  1. Finally got my Fully Booked discount card last Tuesday! Thank you to everyone who helped me reach the 15k quota! You know who you are :)
  2. I saw Vertical Horizon last April 28! Matt is so adorable! Adobby haha. I wish that I saw them the first time they came here but at least I got to see them this time around!
  3. Gonna see Lifehouse and We The Kings in about two weeks! Will see my favorite band with Zaru after four years since their last show, so fucking excited! If you're a WTK fan, please let me know! Still looking for someone to go with me but I'd go alone if I have to :))
  4. I've been buying too much lately. I know I should stop. But most times, I honestly just feel so horrible that I use retail therapy to cheer me up.
  5. Met with online friends Dom and Lia with Ally and Marge last Saturday! Also met two more wonderful people, Jaimie and Lui during that The Avengers movie date! I was so awkward right up to the moment we finally approached each other omg but aaaa, best rewatch ever!
  6. Totoro is one of whom I've been spending so much on lately. The Comic Alley employees already know me omg. When I paid for my latest purchase, the whole store was mocking me. The movie's theme song was playing ffff. They should work on their discount card soon. I can't help myself when it comes to Totoro ;A;
  7. I got my Suits dvd last May 4th! While my online friends were rejoicing for the release of The Avengers movie, I spent my night the best way I knew how *u* Target released a 4-disc exclusive though. I'm asking family friends to buy me a copy. I hope they make it in time!
  8. Had an RE sleepover sans Fgy last weekend to watch the dvd. Wish you were there bebi! I channeled you by wearing your shirt haha.
  9. Can we talk about my thesis next time? I'm working on it, I promise.
  10. Joyce Pring is my biggest local celebrity crush right now. She is just too precious aaaa. I hope I'm not creeping her out with all my shameless tweets to her. If she finds me disturbing and decides to block me, I will cry. I just want to be her friend so much ;A;
  11. I saved so much of her photos, it's scaring even myself. But omg I could make a whole mood theme from all her pictures, idk. Too much?
  12. Met a couple more Pinoy Suitors last night. We're planning to all meet soon irl, so excited!
  13. Speaking of Suits, I signed up for this year's suits_exchange. I'm so nervous because I got one of my all-time favorite authors ;A; One consolation from my spiraling depression is that I got a plot bunny for my gift to the person. I hope I don't disappoint!
  14. I also joined the Suits-a-thon at Tumblr. I'm Team Trevor's captain! I guess I probably shouldn't be participating in all these stuff but I just really want to give back to this fandom in any way. And tbh, I really do need the distraction.
  15. Bought several reference books for my thesis (excuse, really but I'm sure I can use that for research too) and my language studies. I found Norwegian references at NBS last week! So happy *u*
  16. I need to start reading more regularly again.

“You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle”
—David Nicholls, One Day

I know I have so much more I wanted to share but I can't remember them atm and I want to stop at 16 so. An excuse to update someday soon, yes? :D

Shiney: lets go toml_trickster_l on May 10th, 2012 09:22 pm (UTC)
You can do it! /sings-song-about-how-you-can-do-it
Lira: nostalgicseikochan on May 11th, 2012 11:06 am (UTC)
Uwaaaa I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you wanted to talk. ;~; I hope we can meet again soon like earlier, darling. ♥ I missed you!